Still no closer...but that's okay

Still don't have any idea of when, where, or how Mark and I will get married. I'm starting to be okay with that, though. I can't wait to be Mrs. B, but I have gotten to the point where feeling secure and relaxed about this whole thing is much, much more important than rushing things. That doesn't mean I didn't cave when I went on Tickle and saw a quiz titled "What's your wedding wish?" My results (which are pretty damn spot-on, if I do say so myself):

Your wedding wish is to Let Love Rule:

Of course you want to be married in a gorgeous location in a fabulous dress! But when it comes your wedding, what's most important to you is spending time with the people you care about. After all, this is an occasion that honors love, respect, and commitment between people, so it's no surprise that you also want to celebrate the people who helped you get there.

You're probably a wedding planner who likes to ask for advice when making the bigger decisions, and you're not afraid to delegate duties to close friends and family. You see this as everyone's celebration, so it's of utmost importance to you that everyone feels welcome and a part of the festivities. And that's how happily ever after begins.

Retrospect

I was cleaning out my emails and came across one sent on August 16, 2006 to Jilly, Kelly, and Ms. M. in response to them jokingly asking when Mark and I were going to get married (Mark and I had just signed papers for our house). After telling them they would for sure be invited when that day came - which still holds true! - I mentioned it's possible that when that day comes, I might prefer to elope:

...It's MY wedding, and I can elope if I want to! hahaha! Basically, I've seen way too many couples fight and end up practically hating each other over the planning of their wedding, and I hate to think they forgot the whole reason why they were getting married in the first place. I figure if you remove all that B.S., it's really just about the bride and the groom and is more special. I don't know, I guess I'll have to see what I do once it's before me, but for now, standing barefoot on a beach someplace with just me, Mark, and a minister sounds pretty blissful... :o)

I find it interesting that now that this is a reality, it's difficult for me to determine if eloping is indeed the best choice for us. Why is that? Am I just worried about making everyone else happy? Is it really just that I want to have everyone there to witness our union and that's why I'm so on the fence about this? Do you think my feelings about this before even having a ring on my finger are more indicative of my true, innate desires or is it just easy to say something like this when there aren't actual imminent plans?

I'm confused, kids. Granted, I was confused before I read this old email, but...

And here I thought I would finally be able to stop WORRYING about finding a date...

I've always been from the school of thought that once you've found that "one and only," you can assume you won't need to worry about dates anymore. Because really, who the hell wants to?? I certainly had my share of ones I wish I could expel from the record. Yet, now that I'm engaged and happy to be with just one man, I find myself going batty about a different kind of date:

The wedding date.

I'm still no closer to knowing when we can get married, based on the fact that Mark's brother is signed up for a tour of duty in Iraq (DAMN WAR). He was supposed to have been over there by now, but at the last minute they held them back and are keeping his unit at some base in Wisconsin. Which means that he can't spend time with his children or family, and also has little way of knowing when he will find himself back home for good.

We want Steve at the wedding. He's become very dear to me and he's Mark's best friend. I'd love to have him there as the Best Man. But when, pray tell, might that be an option?...

First answer: "Sometime in April."

And then yesterday, Steve heard a rumor that they might actually be back in the States for good as early as late July (as opposed to Christmas of 2008). But that's just a RUMOR, peoples. And if you think I'm going to plan my wedding around a rumor, you've clearly lost your damn minds. Which, of course, you HAVEN'T.

Anyone knows in order to plan - really plan - a wedding, you need to know the date or at the very least the general time of year the wedding will take place. It's the difference between having an outdoor wedding and an indoor one, using yellows & greens or reds & oranges as the color theme, and determines exactly what style white dress to look for. Since I have nary a clue of the "when," I have been driving myself nuts with waffling between a variety of very different themes and visions, and even with the "where" of this whole event. It's exhausting at best and defeating at worst. One should not want to cry when one is asked "When is the date?" I mean, I might be crazy, but this simple question shouldn't reduce a bride-to-be to teary responses of "I don't know....we have no clue...fuck if I know!" Right? Right.

If anyone has a good idea of how I can chill the eff out and relax (which will, at this point, keep me from running off with my groom and getting married while no one is looking), I would greatly appreciate it. What are the things I CAN be focusing on - aside from the fact that I'm lucky to actually have someone I want to marry (yeah, yeah, I know...) - in order to stop this emotional ride I've unwittingly found myself upon? What are the details I can enjoy planning now, despite not knowing the "when" of all this?

Help a girl out. It's been over a week since I looked at bridal magazines. I've been too angry at them. But I must admit I also sort of miss them, too.

DAMN WAR.

Engagement Party Pics

As promised, here are some pictures from our engagement party...I just got a new camera, but these were taken with my old, crappy one. They are a terrible representation of a wonderful party, so I apologize!

The set up at Lorenzo's Bistro - My YOM/step mom made it look so pretty! (Side note: she used Hostas and Mums on all the tables, of which she gave to us to plant in our garden at home...I thought that was such a cool idea!):


Fresh fruit and wonderful baked goods table - the bistro is also a bakery:


Place-settings:


The menu (the food was A-MAZING!):


The cake, which was made to mimic the one I fell in love with in this month's Martha Stewart magazine (I'll scan that in as soon as I have more time):


Mmm...the pina colada cake right before it went into my BELLY - we now have the top half of the cake in our freezer, to be cut and eaten on June 23, 2008 - a year from our engagement date (how cheesy are we?!) :


Some of my peeps:




My little sister giving a toast (isn't she gorgeous, even though I totally took her by surprise with my red-eye reducing flash?!):


My dad (that's my YOM sitting down) giving a choked up toast - "If you know Amy, you know when she walks into a room, it lights up...and now she's met the man that makes her light up all the time..." *sigh*:


Me and that man who, indeed, makes me light up inside and out (Note: after seeing these pictures, Mark and I have decided we need to go on a diet...AND I am in desperate need of advice - before our wedding pictures are taken - on how to help Mark feel comfortable in front of a camera; I truly have yet to get a picture of him that actually LOOKS like him...):


Overall, the day was very happy and heartwarming. We got some great gifts, including The Anti-Bride Guide, the Martha Stewart Wedding Planner, gift certificates from Target, Williams- Sonoma, Linen's and Things, and several other places. We weren't expecting anything at all, so it was a nice bonus to feeling so loved and supported.

I guess the champagne didn't hurt, either... ;o)